Someone saved my life

Sometimes you just get lucky, no matter what life you lead. Sometimes the gods look upon you and give you a little help when you'd never dream it possible. Infrequently, it may happen when life has become so twisted and perverse that there is no easy regress. For me, it was just another ordinary day, really, filled with anxiety for months until a few days prior. Up until then, no one could convince me that my life was not complete enough-because I would routinely deny it. It's what they would want to hear. I don't want to own up to building something that I didn't want just to please others, especially family...

Any mistakes I made in designing this ordinary world of mine were mine and I was destined to slowly destroy my creative side for the greater good. Not sad, just practical.

Throughout my walk, each day I have felt I have never been very alone physically, because I have always wanted someone near me. However, I have felt horribly lonely since the age of 20 or so. Though practical in those choices which others would and did approve, I have been horribly stupid in those that nourish my soul.

The result of this has eeked damage through chipping away at my life's dreams, but like the "Logical Song" said, making me very clinical, or logical, in the eyes of others.

These feelings are not functions of earth-shaking phenomena, it's common in people with some modicum of creativity. Creative folks walk a path thinking about this and that and it's only until one expresses one's self that we are actively doing something about this range of feelings, often melancholy, sometimes clinical in scope.

When my creativity reached beyond my soul and touched another, that is when I've expressed myself the greatest, when I've been the most content. Sometimes, you just get lucky. Someone saved my life tonight, Oct. 16, 2009.